We're facebook friends in real life
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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