She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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