Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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