to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
