Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
