And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
They have beer where we have blood.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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