you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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