pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize