Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
