Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
