dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
