Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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