if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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