what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
