Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
