I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
