You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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