This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
