i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
