Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
