Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
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I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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