break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
