where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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