i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
