The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
