Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize