she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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