And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
