He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
