Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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