I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
