I didn't shave. On purpose
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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