susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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