Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He felt like a one man threesome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
