All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
