I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
