I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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