Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize