i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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