Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize