Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
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Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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