Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
