hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
