Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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