I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
