So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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