two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
