im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
