I'm going to jail i love you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
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