i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
