never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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