I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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