My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
