I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
