I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
