whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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