My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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