I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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