It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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