I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize