Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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