i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
