is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
