based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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