we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
